Player Registration

5th Grade Report Round 14 day 1

5th Grade Report vs North Sydney Day 1

The Fifth Grade report is sponsored by Choppy Chop: go to

Greg Matthews claims to have won a mind game with Richard Stobo, and therefore justifies his actions not so long ago. There is only one idiot who has won a mind game with the 'great' Stobo in recent times, and his hair is far from being an endangered species. In fact as our club coach calls it, it produces; "The nectar of the God's".

The result of the Round 14 clash with the Bears of North Sydney was surely a forgone conclusion before a ball had been bowled. 17th placed Norths vs the 4th placed Stags. Gordon would win, but by how many.

(Michael Bourne who saved the day with his batting)

Unfortunately this was the question circulating the club, especially 5th grade, in the lead up to Saturday. How funny cricket is. 5's managed to put up their worst days play of the season, at a critical time of the year. Embarrassing, ordinary, woeful are but a few words that come to mind when one reflects on Saturdays debacle.

Gordon bowled out for 179.

Higgins and Storey arrived together at the picturesque ground of Tunks Oval to find a number of players missing from the dressing sheds. Tim "Cliffy" Clifford had coaching which ran a little over time, and the great Tommy "Tim" Roarty had gone to Tunks park at Macquarie. Roarts arrived with the news that he would be leaving at 4pm to go to a wedding. No one knew of his early departure, but to be fair he had told a number of people prior to the days play, all of whom forgot. It was a bad day from the outset.

Stores won the toss, and batted on a batsman's paradise. I've never seen a better wicket to bat on. I've driven on roads which resembled less of their name than the deck at Tunks. White lines down the middle, a two lane run feast was put on offer for the Stags.

Complacency is not a good value to have but it crept into our game and we were jumped all over by the waiting Bears.

(John Mallos at Tunks)

Only one umpire was designated to Saturdays play, and therefore one member of the Stags would be forced to stand at square leg for 10 over stints.

Mallos was forced to stand at square for a full 16 overs, as the Stags were pleased to have the little penguin out there for an hour or so.

Choppy Chop was the first to be dismissed, caught behind. Perhaps his recovery from a night in lock up had started to catch up on him. Fitzy fell shortly after hooking the slowest bouncer I've witnessed to square leg.

Higgins, padding up after Fitzy's dismissal, was privy to one of the blow ups of the season as Fitzy went ballistic including a spectacular throw.

Lassie was next to fall caught behind as he attempted to smash another textbook cover drive. Higgins joined Roarty, who had been promoted in the line up to use our full 11, and the two just began to pull the game back in the Stags favour. At drinks the score was 3-60.

When Roarty attempted to bomb a straight one the score was 4-100 as his failed swipe fell into the hands of mid on.

Rabone came in, scored one run, then nicked a ball to the keeper as he tried to cut the shortest ball of the day.


For these two crucial wickets to fall like this was very disappointing. Higgins, standing at the other end probably blew up more than the two batsmen. Mallos was the next man in, and as he waddled to the crease he was the unfortunate recipient of a Higgins earful as the long haired "man" sent a rocket up his team mate, telling him "If he gets out like the past two he would personally wrap the bat in his hand round his neck". This quote is minus a few expletives, and was originally used by Marty Reynolds. Cheers Marty.

(Higgins leaves the scene after his 36)

Higgins and Mallos took the score to 5-120 at tea. The tea was sub par I'm afraid to report. 6 plates of confectionary, 4 of which were chips of the same flavour. Matt Kelly would have blown up. Klemmy would have been pleased with the spread.

After tea, Higgins failed to add to his score and was caught at slip for the days top score of a measly 36. Mallos followed soon after.

Storey and Bourne may have saved the day for the Stags as they added 50 for the 8th wicket. It was slow going though. Their 50 run stand came in no less than 30 or so overs. But it was gutsy, determined cricket. Stores was the first to go, an inspired 20 something. From there the tail added 4 or 5 extra runs. All out 179.

The Stags had the chance of 7 overs at the Bears. No result, but plenty of promise. Look for Cliffy to take a few, he might just be a bit of a dark horse.

The worst days play I've had this year, cricket wise, but still an enjoyable one due to the company of my team mates. It's a shame none of them like me though.

Rest assured the boys will throw everything at the Bears to bring home 6 points. I may just give Mo a call, see what he does to put off the opposition.

(Storey and Bourne in action)

Mardi Gras this weekend. I wonder if there will be as many Stags attending the festivities as there was attending the 'Desperate and Dateless'. I wonder how many jokes I'll get this week regarding the Mardi Gras.




Related News